


Twister

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Humor, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-06-25
Updated: 2003-06-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 06:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: A game of Twister.





	Twister

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

Twister

## Twister

### by Rogue

Title: Twister 

Author: Rogue 

Summary: A game of Twister. 

Rating: PG-13 

Category: SRH, Mulder/Scully married 

Spoilers: If you haven't seen Existence, then this will spoil you big time. Also in my universe S9 never happened. Oh, and after the events of Existence Agents Doggett and Reyes were reassigned to Alaska to investigate snow circles appearing on the vast glaciers. Apparently those were made by the local polar bears, but Doggett and Reyes don't know that and I'm not going to tell them. 

Disclaimer: Yes, they're mine. Last week I went through a painful plastic surgery just to look like CC so I could claim M&S as mine. I also changed my sex , and today I changed my name to Chris Carter, so essentially I am him. Oh god, what have I done? Seriously. 

Archiving: Yes, please. Just tell me where so I can visit and brag. 

Dedication: To my all my Mastopals! Love you much! 

Warning: My first language isn't English, but bear with me, pretty please. 

Feedback: Worshipped and feared Please be gentle with me, this is my first time..writing a fic. 

Author's notes at the end. 

* * *

Twister by Rogue

"When you've been married for over five years, you know almost every thing about your significant other." 

My ass! This magazine is a piece of crap. Obviously the person who wrote this rubbish had a boring marriage. Look at Scully and I. We've been married for seven years and have known each other twice as long, and still she sometimes manages to surprise me. It's like I said all those years ago: "You always keep me guessing." That's still true. 

OK, so back to business. I want to tell you what happened yesterday. And what makes yesterday so special you wonder? Well, first of all, it was our seventh anniversary. Will and Katie were staying over at our friends' house. 

You are probably wondering who Katie is. She's our baby daughter. We had her after two years of marriage and she turned five just a few days ago on October 17th. Yesterday was the 20th. She was actually due on our second anniversary, but decided to come into the world 3 days early. She would have been the best anniversary present ever. It may seem horrible to think of a child as a present, but it's what she is to us. A blessing. 

After Will was born, we decided to have another one. Child that is, not another William. Although that wouldn't have been so bad. 

Will is the perfect example of a well behaved child. He obeys me and his mother, and never complains about Katie stealing his toys. He's a big boy now and I can't believe he is already seven years old. It seems like it was just yesterday when I held him in my arms for the first time. It was magical, especially when Scully told me that she was going to name him after my father. We decided that we're never going to call him Bill as it's a name that holds too many bad memories for me. 

So he's our little Will. Well, not so little anymore. 

Anyway..I got a little side tracked there. You were wondering about the friends I mentioned? Yes, we _DO_ have friends..we socialise nowadays. 

When Will was one year old, we decided to move to a bigger house. Scully's apartment was getting crowded with all the toys I'd bought our son. Rubber duckies and stuffed animals were scattered over the living room floor, and you should've seen his room! It was a job to find his crib amongst the toys. 

So, we moved to a nice area here in Georgetown. Our house is a two-story with four bedrooms, a large kitchen and a nice big backyard. 

The thing that attracted Scully to this house was the huge jacuzzi. It's like friggin' swimming pool. She really loves the jacuzzi; she spends hours and hours just soaking. Once in a while she lets me join her. I swear, she growls if I step too close to it if she hasn't given me a permission to do so. When I tell her that she growls, she just shrugs and says that it's just wishful thinking and she does not growl under any circumstances. Yeah, right! And I don't snore either. 

So on our seventh anniversary evening I was sitting in the living room, watching the fire that I'd just started, waiting for Scully to finish soaking. Everything was perfect and I was looking forward to some funky loving. 

Obviously Scully had some other ideas when she came down the stairs. She was wearing my old grey t-shirt and her prehistoric sweats. 

"You're not planning on wearing _those_ tonight are you ?" I asked her. 

She looked at me strangely. 

"What's wrong with my clothes? I love your old t-shirt and these sweats so much." 

"Yeah, I can see you love those sweats, they've got holes 

everywhere," I muttered under my breath. 

"What was that, Mulder?" 

Uh-oh. 

"Um, nothing." 

Apparently my explanation was good enough for her because she let it go. Good. Now we were getting somewhere. 

I looked at her, wondering how long it would take me to strip her out of those clothes. She was hiding something white behind her back.. 

"Oooh, Scully..what have you got behind your back?" A wide grin spread over her face. Sneaky..well, two can play at that game. She started to descend the stairs. 

"Nothing, Mulder. I'm not hiding anything behind my back. Your eyes are deceiving you," she finally said. 

"Scullyyy." I whined. 

"Okay, if you must know..it's a game of Twister." 

She held the box in front of her and grinned stupidly. "Twister, Scully? Why did you..we're going to PLAY it?" I asked with fear in my voice. 

"As a matter of fact, we are," she said. 

What?! It was our _anniversary_ and she wanted to play friggin' Twister? I couldn't believe this. I couldn't say no to her. I never could, but Twister? So much for that naked pretzel I was looking forward to. 

She was still standing on the last step of the stairs holding the stupid box of Twister. 

"All right, we'll make it quick. I've got some champagne cooling in the fridge and I built a fire in the fireplace." 

She came to hug me and said, "Thank you, Mulder. This is the best anniversary gift ever." 

Is this woman out of her pretty little mind? A game of Twister, the best anniversary gift ever? There had to be something more to this. 

We sat on the floor and started to put the Twister mat in place. I looked at the mat: All the yellow, green and blue dots were having more fun than I was. 

What was wrong with Scully? I was sitting there shirtless in front of the fireplace, we were alone, it was our anniversary and all she wanted to do was play Twister?! 

She must have seen my disappointed look because in an instant she was straddling me, kissing me senseless. After our little makeout session she pulled away and looked me straight in the eye. 

"What's up?" I asked. 

A mischievous grin spread over her face and she ground her hips into mine, making me groan. 

"I'd say Little-Mulder by the feel of it." She laughed at her own joke and made us both bounce. 

I was fixated on her smile. God that mouth! Those pearly-white teeth. Must be that special tootpaste she used. 

'I had onions at lunch, I had garlic dressing at dinner, but he'll never know because I stay kissing sweet the new Dazzle Dent way.' Just like Marilyn Monroe in Seven Year Itch. Mmmm, kissing sweet. I'll bet! 

I was pulled out of my daydream when she put her hand on her mouth. 

"What? Do I have something on my teeth, Mulder?" 

"No, I was just watching you perfect mouth." 

"Aaww Mulder. Thanks sweetie!" 

Sweetie? She'd never called me sweetie before. Maybe honey a couple of times, but never sweetie. 

Her lips met mine and I became lost in her kisses. After a while I pulled away to get some air. 

"Why did you stop Mulder?" she asked. 

I saw my chance for revenge. "I want to start our game of Twister. Don't you?" 

I rose from the floor and went to retrieve the spinner. Scully sighed disappointedly. 

"Okay then, let's play." 

Everything was ready when she said, "There's one extra rule to this game, Mulder." 

"What is it?" It had to be something silly. Scully is always meticulous about rules. 

"We have to be in our underwear." 

What? Underwear..that's stupid! Wait! _Underwear_. As in me in my boxers, and her in her panties and bra? There's the catch! 

She smiled smugly at my puzzled expression. 

"You heard right, now Mr. Scully, get naked!" 

She sometimes calls me Mr. Scully just to annoy me. She kept her maiden name when we married. 

"Yes, Mrs. Mulder," I replied. 

Everything was ready, we were down to our underwear, and the Twister mat and spinner were in place. 

"What next, Scully?" 

I asked, even though I knew the rules. After all, it was me who bought the game for the kids! I just wanted to have some fun at Scully's expense. 

"OK, first you have to put your feet on the yellow and blue circles. Then you just spin the spinner. As simple as that." 

"Okay, but why are we in our underwear, Scully?" 

"Trust me, Mulder. You'll understand why in a minute." 

'I do trust you Scully, but I just don't understand why we have to be in our underwear. It's not even that hot in here,' I thought. Then it dawned on me, it COULD get hot in here. I looked up at Scully. Immediately our eyes met she knew that I knew all about her plans. I didn't say anything, just looked at her and smiled knowingly. 

'This should be interesting', I thought to myself. 

So we started to play. We agreed that every time one of us fell or whatever, we had to take off one piece of clothing. That was a bit unfair as I was wearing only boxers and she had her bra and panties on, but I figured that wouldn't last too long. 

Hoo boy, was I ever more wrong? 

Apparently, Scully has a great sense of balance. See, another thing that I didn't know about my wife. So there I was, bent in half and naked as the day I was born, and Scully still in her bra and panties. 

"Scully, this is unfair! I didn't know you had such a good sense of balance!" I whined. 

"Shut up, Mulder." 

Oh great, this was leading nowhere. For Pete's sake, the woman must have been a contortionist in her former life! I decided to bump into her by "accident". I spun the spinner. 

"Yellow, leg," she read aloud. 

As I moved my leg to the yellow dot near her, I bumped her and she landed on her ass. 

"Mulder! You did that on purpose!" 

"Who? Me? It was an accident." I gave her my best impression of the puppy dog look. 

Guess she bought it because the next thing I knew I was staring at a nice pair of Scully breasts. My ogling session was soon interrupted by her giggles. The giggles soon turned into a bellylaugh. 

"What's so funny?" I asked her, a little annoyed. She was now lying beside the mat and holding her stomach as if she was in pain. 

"Mul... do you have..any idea.. how..sillyyy...you look..crouching there.. on all fours?" she guffawed. 

I looked down myself. Everything was hanging and my position, to tell the truth, was a bit funny. 

"Come here and let's finish this game" 

She positioned herself on the right dots. I glanced at her and thought, 'now let's see whose things are hanging.' 

We played the game some more and I was actually starting to enjoy it. We laughed at each other's positions, I had a nice view of her breasts and sometimes she rubbed me the right way. 

"Hand to red". 

I looked around for a red dot. One was directly beneath Scully. Time to get this show on the road. I moved my hand to the red dot. In this position I was beneath her and if I moved my head to the right I'd bump into her breast. 

And I did. 

And I licked.. a little. 

"Ooh, Mulderrr," she purred. 

So I did it again. And again until she  
interrupted me. "Uh, Mulder. Your turn to spin." 

Oh, right. The game. My turn? 

"Scully, I've just spun. It's your turn." 

"No it is not. While you were down there I spun and moved my leg. See?" She emphasised her point by kicking me on my shin. 

"Ouch, you didn't have to do that," I pouted. 

"Poor Baby. Did you get bruised? I'll make it all better once we finish this game." 

"Oh joy, now I have something to look forward to. Okay, then. Shall we continue?" 

"Whenever you're ready, Mulder," she answered. 

The game continued and we found ourselves in every imaginable position. We were really enjoying the evening, and each other if you know what I mean. I got to laugh at her positions. 

"God, Scully. This is so much fun. We should do this some other time too." 

"Mulder, I totally agree with you. Why haven't I thought about this before?" she said with smile in her voice. 

"Why _did_ you think about this?" I asked, now curious. 

She blushed and stuttered, "Umm..I.. got an email from one of my friends.." 

"And what exactly was in this email, may I ask?" 

"You know, the usual; how are the kids doing, what are we going to do in summer, how to please your husband with a game of Twister..," she answered coyly. 

"Scully, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I haven't been pleased yet." I replied. 

"And I'm sorry to disappoint you too but I really, really want to finish this game." 

"Sure. Fine. Whatever." I answered in frustration. 

"Oh, Mulder. Let's just finish this game and I promise I'll do whatever you want." 

I pouted. 

"Mulder! Don't pout. You know I can't resist your pout.." I pouted more. 

"Just stop it!" she said, a little annoyed with me. 

"OK, OK. Now whose turn it is to spin?" I asked puzzled. "Let's say it's my turn," she said and spun the spinner. "Foot to blue". 

The game continued. Scully was leading, the little contortionist. I was amazed at some of the positions she managed to put herself in. 

'I could do that,' I thought as I looked at her from the corner of my eye. 

"Foot to red". 

There was one red dot on the other side of the mat, so I decided to impress Scully with my flexibility. I lifted my leg and slammed my foot down on the floor. 

Pain. 

The next thing I knew I was lying doubled-up on the floor, holding my groin in pain. The Twister mat had slipped from under my feet and I had done the splits. The mat had been torn in two pieces and one side was still sticking to the sole of my right foot. 

"Mulder! Oh my God, are you OK?" she asked, panic in her voice. 

"Yes just help me to the couch, please." 

She grabbed me under my arm and gently helped me to sit on the couch. 

"I'm going to fetch some ice for it.." 

"No! Scully, no! I don't want ice near Little-Mulder! Sheesh.." 

"Whatever you say Mulder, but.. you broke the kids' Twister mat. They love this game. How are you going to explain all this?" She said pointing at the shredded mat. 

"Me?! You were playing it too!" 

"Yes, I was. But I wasn't the one who decided to impersonate a gymnast!" she nearly shouted in my face. 

I pondered it for a moment and then voiced my idea. 

"Why don't we call Joanne and ask her if she wouldn't mind having the kids for one more night? We could go out and buy them a new mat." 

"Mulder, I have to say that I like your idea. That would also give us some more time to.. uhh" she stopped suddenly when she realised what she'd said. 

"What are you hiding from me, again, Scully?" 

"There were other things, too, in that email. Other ways to please your husband." 

"Uh-huh.. keep going." 

So she proceeded to tell me exactly what was in that email..It turned out to be a memorable anniversary. 

The Happy End. 

* * *

Author's Notes: I made it! I'm proud of myself. HUGE  
thanks go to Sandra and Xdks for bearing with me..  
and correcting all my mistakes! MWAH!  
  


#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Rogue


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